I think it is very healthy to spend time alone.
You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't like December in Ireland. By that, I mean absolutely detest it and can't get far enough away!
It's dark, it's cold and there is the highly anticipated Christmas "cheer" to be had. Now don't get me wrong, I am not the grinch by any means. I buy gifts and acknowledge that is an important religious feast day, I just prefer to skip it and go my own way.
Plane ticket in hand I usually disappear and come back when it's all over! It takes a little courage to go against the norm but I am the better for it. My healthy alone time as advised by Oscar Wilde. Everyone benefits when you are happy.
Going your own way is liberating. I don't just mean travelling alone as a woman. I mean, giving yourself the head space and down time to think. Do what you want , when you want and how you want. Not having to compromise for anyone, even if it's just just for one day it is pure heaven. We all give so much of ourselves to others without even thinking how draining it is. We often spread ourselves so thin we end up frazzled, stressed, anxious and exhausted.
Alone time is just that. You, alone. After all, all you ultimately have is yourself. Escape the demands being made on you by life and others. I am not suggesting for one minute you back your bags, walkout on your family and say good luck! What I am saying is, that alone time is essential to everyone. Reboot the system, get clarity in your life's situation.
Only by stepping outside the box can we look back in with healthy reflection and see the improvements that perhaps are required. What is draining you most? What area of your life is not really working. Is there something you want to learn? See? Do? Look at the positives too, what is working, what have you achieved?
You can still be with another person and run a happy home with others. We just need to remember not to get so absorbed in others that we lose ourselves. Forgetting our own joy and passions. We have our own needs, hobbies and interests. We had them before others came along and should still have them when they leave.
What shakes your snow globe? Have you enjoyed your passion recently?
So commit to you. Go find yourself for a few minutes a day. Longer if you can manage it. Find a secret place where you won't be disturbed. Enjoy the quiet and ask yourself what is it that you would like to do? How can you make your life so amazing that you never need a vacation from it? What do you need to do to make time for yourself? Don't be one of those people who scoffs and say "as if I can find time to be alone, I have x, y and z to deal with."
Those things will still be there after your few minutes break, you can deal with them then. You might even have a light bulb moment in your silence and realise that you can farm out those tasks to others!
Health is not just about what about you eat, it's about what your thinking too.
While I was lucky enough to be able to take an extended solo trip, alone time can be sitting in the car for ten minutes before you go into the office/ shops / house. It can be driving with no radio on and having time to reflect on your day. Going for a walk alone with no music so that you can give your mind a break. Meditation and mindfulness are hugely popular at the moment. While you may think they are just "buzzwords" ask yourself, why is it that everyone is looking to alternative therapies for sanity?! They work, don't knock it till you try it.
Life is fast, hectic and we are on sensory overload for most of the day. When did you last have a phone free day? I was lucky enough to turn mine off for 28 days and you know what? Everyone managed without me. My fingers were glad of the break too!
Every positive change in your life begins with a clear, unequivocal decision
that you are either going to do something or stop doing something
Coming soon to my clinic in Rathfarnham: Life and Business Coaching
Do you feel stuck? Is life getting you down? Do you feel like you are on a hamster wheel and can't figure out what needs to change?
Life and Business Coaching is about being empowered to find the answers and move your life forward. You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it. Time marches on, do you want to get stuck in the past or look forward to a brighter future?
Join my mailing to be the first to be notified of Life and Business Coaching appointments. I will run a special offer to celebrate my new Diploma and bring you the best Life and Business Coaching in South Dublin.
About the Author:
Sinéad Kennedy is a Physical Therapist, Yoga Siromani and Pilates Instructor, based in South County Dublin. She treats and teaches people from all walks of life, including many athletes, especially cyclists, runners and golfers. Recently featured in the Irish Independant, FIT Magazine, her Yoga 4 Cyclists class has gained notoriety.
A keen cyclist and proud member of Orwell Wheelers she has completed numerous cycling events including La Marmotte Sportive. She is an accomplished audax-er having done numerous 200km and 300km routes. Sinéad has also completed three Dublin City Marathons, numerous Adventure Races and Half Marathons.
Keen to spread the word on all things related to Wellness, Fitness, Coaching and Travel.